Can the prequels convert someone totally apathetic into a fan?
My girlfriend had never seen a Star Wars movie in her life, but I recently managed to convince her to watch the prequels with me. I thought it might to be interesting to record her thoughts on the movies, the franchise as a whole, and where she thinks the story will go next.
(And, yes, she gets C-3Po's name wrong a few times. At least the online Star Wars community is such a forgiving bunch!)
ME: Hi, girlfriend.
GF: Hi!
So, we’ve been going out for—
Too long!
--about five and a half years, and you always were like, I don’t want to watch Star Wars.
I was like, I’ll never watch Star Wars. I just knew they wouldn’t be my type of film.
But you like movies. You’re a movie person. You like loads of movies.
It was just a bit overwhelming—like people love all this stuff, so it’s a lot of effort to get into it, like, forty years too late. I’m also 26, so watching them for the first time now, I wouldn’t have any nostalgia for them.
Yeah, and especially the three that we watched: unless you have nostalgia because you saw them as a kid, or you’re super into Star Wars, it’s hard to see what would be appealing about them.
I suppose there’re some funny bits! But the last one we watched had something like a 4.0/5 on Letterboxd. I wonder is it really worth such a high score, or is it just that people love the franchise so much? I’m not sure that’s a true reflection of the quality of the movie.
Yeah—because the only people watching them are the people who are into it. Were you maybe put off Star Wars because it’s considered to be a bit of a ‘boy’ thing?
Yeah, definitely. When I was growing up it was very much a thing for boys. I knew Natalie Portman was in the movies, but I didn’t know anything about her character at all. And I actually liked her character in the first movie. She was more than just ‘the woman’, or ‘the wife’, or ‘the girlfriend.’ She was actually sneaking around with a pistol and getting stuff done and involved in the politics. But apart from that, one of the only things I knew about Star Wars was the image of Princess Leia in her gold bikini that Carrie Fischer hated wearing, apparently—just an object for men’s viewing pleasure, which was really not my cup of tea.
You’re right—that is weirdly one of the most iconic Star Wars images. It’s even on the poster for that movie.
So, yeah, I liked Natalie Portman’s character in the first movie. But then as she got older, she just became the romantic interest. What a waste of a good character.
Yeah, she doesn’t have much to do the second and third movies.
That’s the problem!
So, moving on, there’s loads of CGI characters and stuff like that—
Yeah, I didn’t like any of them. Well, actually, I like CPU and I like R2-D2 because they have a bit of personality. But I hated all those droid things—y’know the ones with a face like a dog?—the ones that CPU turns into by mistake in the second movie. I didn’t like the Stormtroopers or the weird-looking Goblin-y guys. I did like Yoda, though.
That’s what I was getting to—you liked when Yoda showed up. When he showed up in the Phantom Menace, you were like ‘Oh my god! It’s Yoda!’
Yeah, I didn’t know he was in these movies!
So, what did you know about Yoda prior to watching these?
I knew he was in the old movies and that he was really wise and he talked backwards. I was just so shocked to see a character that I knew about. Because at that point I didn’t know who Padmé was, I didn’t know Liam Neeson’s character, I kinda knew about Obi-Wan Kenobi because of Ewan McGregor—and then Yoda showed up! I didn’t know who Sam Jackson’s character was either, or Jar-Jar Binks.
Isn’t it funny how Jar-Jar went from being such a main character in first movie to having no lines in the last one?
He was like the lead in the first movie!
Did you find Jar-Jar to be especially annoying?
He got in people's way a lot. People were always getting him to do things and he'd be like 'huh?' It wasn't his fault he didn't know how to do things! Where did he even come from again?
He's from Padmé's planet. There' s a whole thing when they land on it.
Oh yeah. He meets Liam Neeson in a forest. He has such an arc, though! He goes from being a Regular Joe who isn't well liked to being a Senator.
Would you say he was the worst part about The Phantom Menace? A lot of people think he is.
No, no. He was annoying, but there were a lot of other things that I didn't like about the film.
Which of the three movies do you think is the best?
I like the story of the first one. I liked how it set the scene. And I like the third one because Anakin becomes Darth Vader. All the drama and the politics of that was interesting to watch. I can’t really remember what happens in the second one, though. It was a bit uneventful.
It’s pretty much thought to be the worst one.
All that happened was that fight in the colosseum. And Anakin and Padmé getting married. Oh, and he pursues her really weirdly. There was a big age difference there.
So, you mentioned Ewan McGregor. You liked his performance?
Yeah. I didn’t like him in the first movie, though, because he had a horrible ponytail. But I grew to like him. Although, I still feel he’s not at the level Liam Neeson was in terms of being a Jedi Master.
Do you know about the Obi-Wan Kenobi show?
I heard about it. But I don’t know what happens in it at all. Nor do I know if Ewan McGregor is even in more movies. I assume he shows up again because they alluded to the fact that he’d be talking to Liam Neeson even though he’d dead at the end of the third one. And he didn’t die in it, so I presume he’s going to keep going. But he won’t be in the next movies we see, will he? Because they’re set back in time, aren’t they?
Well, they were mostly filmed in the 70’s—
Oh, yeah. Now we’re going to see Luke and the rest of them.
Do you’ve any interest in watching the Obi-Wan Kenobi show? I mean, Ewan McGregor’s in it.
Is it good?
Yeah, it’s alright. It’s certainly better than some of those movies we watched.
Yeah, maybe. If it’s not long.
I think it’s only 6 episodes.
Then maybe, yeah.
So, when we were discussing the series after we watched the first one, you didn’t know that they were about Anakin becoming Darth Vader.
No, I had no idea! I was confused at first because his name was Anakin Skywalker, not Luke Skywalker. I was like, ‘Who’s this kid?’. No, I had no idea about any of that stuff. It was completely new to me.
I’m thinking back to after I made you watch The Phantom Menace with me, Anakin was the only thing that had even minorly hooked your interest.
Yeah, I was like, ‘What becomes of Anakin? What happens to wee Ani?’ Because he was so cute! Then I remembered that I knew the phrase ‘Luke, I am your father’. And I knew Darth Vader said that to Luke. So, I was like, does Anakin—this cute wee kid—become Darth Vader? I was thinking ‘How does that happen?!’
Yeah, it’s a big change.
But if I hadn’t known the ‘Luke, I am your father’ line then I wouldn’t have been interested in seeing more. So, I guess it’s kinda good that I had that knowledge.
So, do you remember at the end of Revenge of the Sith, Darth Vader and the Emperor are looking out a window at a big thing under construction. Do you know what that is?
Construction? A battleship? Is that right?
Pretty much.
Well, what are they doing?
I was only asking because the name of it—
What’s it called? What are they making?
You’ll find out!
Just tell me—oh, a Death Star! It’s a Death Star!
Yeah! That leads me to asking you what do you think will happen in the next trilogy?
My guess is Luke will be the Chosen One—or whatever Anakin was supposed to be—and he’ll be a regular guy who discovers that he has Jedi powers. And he gets discovered by Yoda or someone. And he’ll want to do all that stuff—they’ll train him to be a Jedi. And Princess Leia—well, I don’t know—I have no idea about her story at all. I thought Luke was in love with her, but I guess maybe not…
Do you know anything else about the next movies?
No, I don’t. Oh, is Harrison Ford in them?
Yeah.
Is he Luke?
No.
Oh, right. That’s, um, that guy who was in that episode of What We Do In The Shadows.
Mark Hamill.
Yeah, that was the first thing I ever saw him in. And Carrie Fisher is Princess Leia. And there’s a golden robot. Like CPU. Is that CPU?
Well do you remember—
Yeah! The guy was like ‘Look after these two robots and wipe their memories!’ Is that them? Do they appear again?
Yeah, they’re only in the prequels because they’re in the original movies. But it wouldn’t have made sense unless their memories got erased.
But, no, I have no idea what happens in the next movies at all. I’m trying to think what I know from Toy Story.
A kind of interesting thing is that those three movies we watched are only a fraction of a fraction of the Star Wars stories out there.
That’s the problem! It’s daunting.
I’m already thinking, you’d probably like The Mandalorian because you’d like Baby Yoda—
His name is Grogu. Get it right!
You’re correct. I’m thinking, you’d like the show, but would that mean that you have to then watch X, Y, Z to get the most out of it. And would we then have to watch some of the other shows so things make sense?
Yeah, and it’s so confusing because it’s not linear.
I guess that makes it unappealing to try to get into.
Exactly. 1000%.
Hayden Christensen. Hot or not?
Hot in the third movie. But he acts like such a kid in the second one. He’s good looking, though. Oh, can I say, it feels like such a cop out at the end of the third movie when they’re like Liam Neeson’s coming back! Was that just Liam Neeson saying ‘I want another paycheck?’ Why even mention that?
I won’t comment on that. We’ll discover what happens.
No, why?! He can’t be in the next movies… is he in the next three after the next three?
Let’s just say that you shouldn’t be holding your breath to see Liam Neeson again. So, what did you think of the battles and the fights?
Oh, I tune out of some of them. They’re so boring. The space battle at the beginning of the third one was so boring. I did like the battle between Yoda and the evil chancellor guy though, and I like the battle between whatshisface and whatshisface—Hold on! Who’s Han Solo? Is that Harrison Ford?
Yeah.
I liked the battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Also, why is Luke called ‘Luke’ when everyone else is called stuff like Obi-Wan Kenobi or Anakin or Blablee Blah. Like, ‘Luke?’
It’s like Paul in Dune.
Yeah! I can’t say I’m very excited to watch the next movies, though. They’re so old at this stage. In the third movie you could see the quality of the visuals had increased so much from the first one. And now we’re going back to way before that even.
I think you’ll find that the old movies look better. They’re not relying on CGI. It’s all practical. They feel a lot more real. And they are much, much, much better movies than the three we watched.
I’ll be the judge of that!
Final thoughts? What was your favourite moment from the trilogy?
I liked the part where…
…
…
Actually, in the third movie there were a lot fewer funny moments. Jar-Jar Binks is gone, and the guy that owned Anakin and his mum and—wait, remember the fucking race car scene in the first movie?
What did you think of that scene?
It was so… random. Like, it had nothing to do with anything. But then such a big chunk of the film is Anakin racing! I feel like the director just really wanted a race car scene for some reason. Actually, I like the race car bit. That’s my favourite bit. Wee Anakin’s cute.
Well, there you have it, folks. “Wee Anakin” is cute, pod racing is the pinnacle of the trilogy, and Liam Neeson had better show up again soon!
Thank you to my girlfriend for letting me exploit our relationship for content. Check back soon(ish) for our post-original trilogy interview!
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